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I Am The Walrus – Vote For Me

As the 2020 elections heat up, so too does the rhetoric. Candidates for elective office, from the President of the United States down to local supervisors, make campaign promises and outrageous statements – all in an effort to separate themselves from the crowd.

The public hears candidates like Kamala Harris claim that the government needs to mandate a reduction in the amount of meat Americans consume (while chowing down on a pork chop), and other candidates claim to be, well, a sea turtle.

Florida mayoral candidate Elizabeth Drayer is running to “promote animal rights and to be a representative voice for the loggerhead sea turtle species,” according to an article in The Hill.

sea turtle

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“It sounds wacky,” Drayer told the Tampa Bay Times, “but it really isn’t.”“I want to see ecosystems and wildlife get direct representation in government because I don't think the laws that we have now protect nature,” she said. 

In order to run for office in Clearwater, mayoral candidates must be registered voters in the city. Since a turtle would not qualify for office, Drayer says she is running to be a human voice for the species, according to the newspaper.  

Drayer told the Tampa Bay Times that she wants to extend politics to animals and nature, including giving animals the right to vote and be elected, but through human representatives who would speak in their interest.

Drayer then compared the election of animals to the suffrage movement for women and minorities. “When our country was founded, women and racial minorities did not have the ability to hold office either,” Drayer told the paper.

This, of course, begs the question, how does the human representative know how the animal that has been elected would vote?

Drayer had planned to run with the moniker “Sea Turtle,” but the city requires candidates to appear on the ballot with their legal names. She will run as Elizabeth ‘Sea Turtle’ Drayer.

When discussing fundraising for her campaign, Drayer claims that she will not accept any contributions, saying, “The sea turtle cannot be bought.”

It seems like an appropriate time to run Mickey Mouse as her opponent.

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