Women Go Hunting: Self-Discovery and the Lessons I Carry as a Hunter

It was hot, I was sweaty, I was frustrated, and the steenbuck I had been stalking just busted me again. That was the third time that day. If nothing else, at least it’s pretty in South Africa. I stopped for a second in my frustration and reminded myself that I haven’t been hunting that long, and this happens to everyone.

So, how did I end up in South Africa on the hunt-of-a-lifetime after only two seasons of mule deer hunting in Montana? Derek, my boyfriend at the time and husband now, took me for my first deer hunt in the fall of 2022. That’s a great story all its own. My love and interest in hunting went from 0 to 60 in the pull of a trigger. I was hooked. I went from, “I just want to be able to fill my freezer,” to “Where can this take me? What adventures and memories is this going to lead to?”

Shortly after that first season, Derek and I were walking through our local Cabela’s and came across a collection of African animal mounts. When I saw the beautiful oryx I knew I had to go to Africa and bring one home.

About a year or so after this encounter, a second mule deer season, and getting married, Derek and I were walking through an outdoors show in Billings. Our daughter, Allis, came across an animal hide on the floor that she wanted to play with. That hide belonged to William Hayward, Owner of Doornrivier Safaris, a South African outfitter. We sat and talked about hunting with him in South Africa while Allis played with all of his displays. Ultimately, I decided we were going to South Africa later that year in October of 2024.

So, there I stood in the veldt on the second day of the trip, hunting steenbuck, an animal I didn’t even know existed until I looked through Will’s website. I instantly thought it was a neat little animal and wanted the experience of hunting one. What I didn’t know was that this experience was going to change me.

Now, we had been on three different and really nice steenbucks that I couldn’t get lined up on. I never realized how quick an animal could be. I had never had a failed stalk before. Up to this point I had shot two deer back home and two animals in South Africa. I was becoming discouraged. I started to think maybe I wouldn’t get this animal. Then I stopped and reminded myself where I was, how fortunate I was to be there, and that sometimes the animal wins.

Will looked at me and said, “We are not giving up. We are going to get on a good one just now. I know it.” Well, if he believes in me, then so do I, I thought.

Round 4. Another beautiful steenbuck. Another bust just 50 yards away. Sh@#! Now the light was leaving the sky, and everything was bedding down. But we were trying one last spot before it got too dark.

We walked for what seemed forever but was only about a quarter mile. Will spotted one. He was a shooter, was by himself and laying down, so he wasn’t going anywhere. Now we needed to get in shooting range, and the wind was not in our favor. Finally, we were in range, about 300 yards. He was still right where we spotted him. Will and I crawled up this little hill on our bellies and got set up. I tried finding him in my scope but I couldn’t see him. Finally, I saw him!! “I got him!” I said a little louder than I should have to Will, who chuckled at my excitement.

As Will explained where to put my mark, my mind raced with doubt. I had never taken a prone shot. I had never shot an animal that was laying down. What if I miss? What if I wounded him. Will interrupted my thoughts, “How’s your breathing?” Well, my heart was pounding, and my mind was racing, so, not great. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply to steady myself. “Good,” I answered.

One last breath. Squeeze. “That’s a hit! You got him!” I dropped my head and exhaled. I won’t lie to you, I cried. Just a little. But then he got up. He started to run off. Sh@#! My shot wasn’t good. So up and after him we went. We found him not far from where he had been and put one last shot in him that was good, and he went down this time.

I cried a little more. It was a mix of emotions. I had hurt my animal. That was never my intention. But we had found him in minutes and finished the job. My day had paid off. I stuck with it. We kept going. I’ve never worked this hard for an animal. I’ve never experienced this many ups and downs with hunting. The anticipation of the stalk, the frustration of getting busted again and again, the excitement of knowing I had him in my scope this time, and the guilt of a poorly placed shot, and finally getting my animal. Poor Will got to experience all of those emotions rolling through me, but he was good about it. Derek and Zaza joined us shortly after, and as I told Derek all about it, I cried a little more from all of the emotions. But he was proud of me for sticking with it. By the time we got back to the lodge I felt so full of accomplishment and exhausted from the day. However, this wouldn’t be the most emotional hunt of the trip.

A couple days later we went out looking for my oryx and Derek’s red hartebeest. We came upon his animal right away, so he went first. He did a great job with his hunt, and then it was my turn. The weather was starting to turn as the sky got cloudy and dark. It was going to rain. But that was okay, I wasn’t going to let that hinder me. The oryx was the whole reason I was in Africa. It could have snowed, and I would have been out there looking for it.

Will spotted a group of three bulls together. So, we went off across the veldt. The wind was not in our favor, and the oryx walked farther away from us as they caught our scent. We changed direction and walked on. Will turned and asked me again, “Are you good to keep going?” I wanted to tell him, “I am fat and out of shape, but I am determined to get on this beautiful animal.” But instead, I said, “I am great to keep going.” Behind another bush down another draw and up the other side. Will saw them. They had stopped moving, and now there were a few more in the group. We were about 184 yards out. Will asked if I was comfortable with the shot. Considering I just took roughly a 390-yard shot the day before and hit my mark, I felt comfortable and confident in my ability. We got the sticks up and the gun set up. I found them in my scope, and I steadied my breathing. Will told me my animal was the third from the left.

As I counted them wandering out from behind a bush my mind raced again 1… This animal is the whole reason I flew across the ocean to a country I’ve never been to. 2… Please let my shot be well placed. I don’t want to injure him. 3…Squeeze.

Sh@#! I shot before I was at the bottom of my breath. It’s a hit but not a good one. Not again, I think. I am not leaving an injured animal out here and neither is Will. Down the hill we went. We got to where the oryx was shot and found blood quickly. So, we started tracking it. I’d never followed a blood trail. We found more blood and bone fragments. It was a pretty good hit. The oryx was definitely hurt. But we suddenly lost the blood trail as it thinned out. Our tracker went one direction as Will and I went in another. The tracker found the blood again. We followed it down into a ravine. The whole time my chest filled with guilt that I had another bad shot, that I had injured another animal, the animal I came here for. I had so much respect for this beautiful animal and felt I didn’t show it that by not having taken half a second longer to finish my breath, by letting my excitement get the better of me. Now I worried we wouldn’t find it.

Finally, Will spotted her as she jumped up. He had the gun, so he fired once. It didn’t slow down. Now we were running over rocks and through branches. Will fired again, and she slowed a little. Finally, I caught up to Will (he was much faster and nimbler than me). We were ahead of and above the oryx, which was in the bottom of what looked like a dry river bottom. We set up on the sticks. I got lined up… and squeezed. It was a good hit. She was down this time. I don’t know what to feel at this point. Will and I made our way down to the animal as the tracker went to get the vehicle along with Derek and Zaza.

Once I saw my animal and put my hands on it, all my emotions flowed right out of my eyes. Poor Will had to deal with this again. But I felt so much. I hurt this animal that I had such respect for and found so incredibly beautiful. At that moment I thought about never hunting again. If I was just going to keep having terrible shot placements and injuring my animals, that’s not what I wanted to do – ever. Will was patient and sat there while I tried to explain everything I was feeling. He reminded me that this sometimes happens to even the best hunters who have been doing this their entire life. I am still new to this and it’s understandable to feel this way. But then he pointed out how far we came in pursuit, that we didn’t give up, that we found the animal and did the right thing. Will figured we hiked in about a mile and half to get the shot and about another mile of following the blood trail and about another half a mile to get the animal to the truck. She didn’t just let me take her; she made me work for it. She is beautiful, and as I sat there in the rain with my hands on my animal admiring her beauty and mass, I decided I wasn’t going to stop hunting. But I was going to do better. I won’t take a shot until I am at the bottom of my breath, and I am positive I am on my mark. I want to take my animal with one well-placed shot, as I am sure every hunter does.

This trip was truly amazing. I learned an enormous amount about myself not only as a hunter but as a person. The stalk is a huge part of the fun. Be patient. Don’t squeeze that trigger until you are 100% ready. I would rather do a longer stalk than take a poor shot. The hunter doesn’t always win. The wind can change the whole stalk in a second. Sometimes sh#t happens that no one likes; do what you can to avoid it. It’s okay to let the other person take the shot if you don’t have it. Always do what you can to do it right. Be thankful for the opportunity you were given. Most importantly, don’t give up. All of those insights can be applied to everyday life, business, and relationships. These are all lessons I will carry with me. I understand now why hunters have such a great view on the world. That made this the hunt of a lifetime! – Jenny Devitt